Volvió Sol/Sol is back

Sol, mi hija mayor, está de vuelta en casa después de haber pasado 8 días con su papá. La veo más grande y está preciosa la mocosa! Pero su vuelta significa un montón de cosas.


Por un lado, la psicopateada que le hace el padre, porque Sofi, su hermana, no quiere ni verlo! Entonces qué hace él, como adulto maduro y responsable? Se pone a llorar frente a su hija que la extraña a Sofi y que no entiende cómo ni por qué no le da bola. Y esto qué implica? Que Sol, que es una nena extremadamente sensible (me ganó a mí... así que imagínense!!) se ponga mal y no sepa cómo hacer para contener al padre. Resultado? Mami tiene que hacerse cargo de ayudar a recomponer la destruidísima autoestima con la que llega Sol de pasar unos días con el padre, porque siente que no puede hacer nada para convencer a su hermana que acepte y quiera al padre.

Otra de las consecuencias tiene que ver con los modales de Sol. Llega hecha una india, contesta mal, es irrespetuosa... sin ir más lejos, cuando llegó, Sofi estaba dormida, y Sol quería ir a despertarla para que fuera a saludar a su papá. Le dije que no lo hiciera, que estaba durmiendo la siesta. Y la mocosa me contestó, "Ay mam.a, me dan ganas de matarte!" La que la quería matar era yo a ella, y al padre ni hablar, que no intercedió para decirle a su hija que a mí no debía hablarme así!!!

Al poco tiempo de llegar, mientras Sofi aún dormía su siesta, Sol y yo aprovechamos para charlas un rato. Me contó lo que había hecho lo que había comido, los amigos del padre que me mandaban saludos... y de pronto rompió en llanto y me dijo que tenía que decirme algo. Lo primero que pensé fue, Zas!! Otra vez lo mismo que aquella vez y el cigarrillito extraño que lo vió fumar? Traté de tranquilizarme y le dije que me contara qué le pasaba. Y entre sollozos y mucha angustia acumulada me dijo que el padre tenía novia. Mi alivio al escuchar eso!!! Así que tuvimos un larga charla, en la que traté de hacerle entender a Sol que estaba perfecto que su papá tenga novia, que se enamore y que decida rehacer su vida, ya que estábamos tanto él como yo en nuestro derecho de hacerlo. Sol se levantó super ofendida del borde de la cama donde estábamos sentadas charlando, y me dijo, "Vos no entendés que si vos o papá se ponen de novios, yo estoy sola?" Así que nuevamente a seguir hablándole para que entienda que si rehacemos nuestras vidas ella nunca va a estar sola. Pero se fue corriendo, se encerró en su cuato y lloró desconsoladamente. Después de un rato, como suele pasar, vino a pedrime disculpas por haber sido tan egoísta y hablarme tan mal. Pero el puñal ya estaba clavado!

No habían pasado un par de horas de las chicas juntas, las que tanto se habían extrañado, que ya se estaban matando... y qué me dice Sol cuando les digo que dejen de gritarse y hablarse mal? Que no las dejo hacer nada!

Yo ya sé que cada vez que Sol se va con el padre, aunque más no sea para pasar unas horas, vuelve con la cabeza cambiada... y sé que tengo que volver a trabajar sobre todo lo que hago con ella día a día para hacer la convivencia armónica. Pero aunque lo sé, me rompe las pelotas tener que hacerlo cada vez!!!



Sol, my eldest daughter, is back from spending 8 days at her dad's house. She looks bigger, and prettier as well. But her return implies piles of things.

On the one hand, her dad does a very "special" pysychological job on her, because her youngest sister, Sophie, does not want to see him! So what does he do, as the mature and responsible adult he should be? He cries in front of his daughter saying he misses Sophie and that he does understand why she ignores him completely. And what does this mean? That Sol, who is an extremely sensitive child (even more than me... so just imagine what she is like!!), will be upset and not know what to do to make her dad feel better. Result of it? Mum having to be in charge of picking up the pieces Sol has been left in and trying to stick her badly damaged selfésteem back together after spending a few days with her dad, because Sol feels so bad for not being able to do anything to convince her sister to accept and love her dad. Another of the consequences has to do with Sol's manners. She comes back as an indian, answers back badly and is disrespectful... what's more, when she arrived, Sophie was asleep and Sol wanted to wake her up so that she would go and greet her father. I told her not to because she was taking a nap. And the spoilt brat answered, "Ay mum I feel like killing you!" I was the one who felt like killing her that moment, and her father as well, who did nothing to scold her daughter and tell her that it was no way to speak to me!!!!

Just a short while after Sol had arrived home, while Sophie was still asleep, we were able to have a good chat. She told me about what she had done at her dad's, what she had eaten, whom she had met, told me about her dad's friends who sent me their love... and suddenly she started crying and told me she had something to tell me. My firs reaction was, Oh my!!! Again the same of that time with the strange "cigarette" she had seen her father smoke. I tried ti take it easy and asked her to tell me what was bothering her. And between sobs and a lot of anguish, she told me that her dad had a girlfriend. I was so relieved when I heard it!!! So we had a long conversation, in which I tried to make her understand that it was perfect for him to have a girlfriend, for him to fall in love and have a life of his own, as we both (dad and mom) had the right to do so. Sol jumped of the bed where we were sitting and told me, " Don't you understand that if you or dad have someone in your life I am alone?" So I talked some more and tried to make her understand that id we should decide to have a partne that would never mean she is alone. But she ran out of my room and into hers, banging the door behind her and cried her eyes out. After a while, as it usually happens, she came to say that she was sorry for having been so selfish and talking to me so badly. But I had already been stabbed by the dagger!

Not more than a couple hours had gone by with the girls being together, they who had missed each other so badly, that they were "killing" each other... and what does Sol tell me when I told them to stop shouting and talking so badly? That I never let them do anything!

I already know that every time Sol goes out with her father, even if it is only for a few hours, that her head os completely changed when she comes back... and i know that I have to start with that neverending job I do with her every day so that we can have a quiet and peaceful life together. But although I know it, I am fuckinh fed up of having to do it each and every time, over and over again!!!