Mis escritos/My writings

Esto que leerán no es más que un esbozo de algo que se me ocurrió anoche mientras trataba de conciliar el sueño. Cualquier semejanza con la realidad es pura coincidencia. Me gustaría escribirlo en novela algún día, pero no me dan ganas todavía... quizás algún día, cuando termine las otras anteriores.

"Él aguardó a que todos dejaran la casa. Era la primera vez que se verían frente a frente.. y estaba muy nervioso, deseoso de tener en sus brazos a esa mujer a la cuál sólo conocía a través del monitor de su laptop, a través de la cam que tantas veces distorsiona las imágenes.

Lo habían planeado todo meticulosamente... una vez que de sus labios había escapado esa frase que lo condenaría de por vida: "Quiero verte, necesito conocerte". Y una vez dicha, ya no había vuelta atrás. Porque en verdad deseaba tenerla en sus brazos, mas no soportaba haber demostrado su lado flaco, casi implorándole que se vieran.

Esta mujer despertaba en él algo que hacía mucho tiempo no había sentido, lo que creía ya muerto e inexistente en él. Había aprendido a vivir sin sentimientos, sin necesidad de relacionarse con el sexo opuesto, porque su última experiencia con su ex mujer había sido muy dolorosa... y se había prometido ya nunca más enamorarse, para así evitarse tanto dolor.

Pero de pronto una tarde cualquiera apareció esta mujer, a quién él anotó en su lista de contactos con un nombre, un número representando su edad y un lugar de residencia. Había optado hacía mucho por rotular a todas las mujeres que entraran en su vida de esta manera, así tan sólo serían eso, un rótulo, no una persona. Mucho más fácil hacer uso de ellas y luego desecharlas.

Y aquí estaba, este mediodía, esperando que ella llegara para entregarse plenamente a ella. La llamó para saber cuánto tardaría en llegar. Sólo faltaban unos minutos... no más.

....

Y al mirarse a los ojos, la seriedad con que ella lo recibió desapareció por completo, y se fundieron en un abrazo tan tierno, en un beso tan dulce, que ambos cerraron los ojos y se dejaron llevar... Y ahi él comprendió que estaba perdido, que por más que intentara no aferrarse a esta mujer, por más que quisiera no volverse dependiente de ella, nunca lo lograría, porque había logrado derribar con ese beso el muro que durante tantos años él había estado construyendo para no volver a sufrir. Él era un tipo para estar solo, por más que le pesara. No podía ni debía estar aquí en este preciso instante. Sin embargo...

Y maldijo su suerte... mas se entregó al divino placer del sexo...

What you will be reading now is nothing more than a very quick draft of ideas that flowed into my mind last night while I was trying to fall asleep. Any resemblance with reality is mere coincidence. I would like to write a novel on this one of these days, but I know I do not want to do so today... maybe some day, when I have finished working on the other two (which I have finished writing but which I am still trying to polish).

"He awaited till everyone had left the house. It was the first time that they would be meeting face to face... and he was very nervous, needy of holding in his arms a woman which he only knew through his laptop's monitor, through a webcam which so many times distorts images.

They had planned it meticoulously.... once the damned phrase that would condemn him for life had left his lips: "I want to meet you. I need to know you". And once it was spoken, there was no going back. Because he really longed to have her in his arms, but he could not tolerate to have shown his weak side, almost imploring her that they meet.

This woman awoke something in him that he had not felt in such a long time, something he believed was dead and existed no longer. He had learnt to love without feelings, without needing to relate with the opposite sex, because his last experience with his former wife had been so painful... and he had vowed never ever again to fall in love, so that he would be able to avoid so much pain.

But suddenly, one afternoon, this woman appeared, someone whom he listed in his group od contacts with a name, a number representing her age and her place od residence. he had opted long ago to label people this way, specially all the women who entered his life, as in this way that is the only thing they would be... a label, never a person. Thus it would be much easier to make use of them and then dump them.

And here he was, this midday, waiting for her to arrive so that he could surrender to het completely. He phoned her to know how long she would take to get home. It was just a few minutes... no more.

...

And when they loooked into each other's eyes, the seriousness with which he had greeted him disappeared completly, and they hugged warmly in a log embrace, and kissed each other sweetly, both closing their eyes and letting go... And that was when he understood that he was lost, that in spite of how hard he tried not to hold on to this woman, although he tried his best not to become dependent of her, he would never be able to achieve it, because she had been able to bring down, through just her warm embrace and sweet kiss, the wall which he had so much made an effort to build around his heart throughout the years, so as to never suffer for love again. He was a guy who had to be alone, in spite of how much he wished he did not have to. He shouldn't and couldn't be here now, at this precise moment of his life. Still...

And he cursed his bad luck... but gave in to the divine pleasure of sex...